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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23921464">i make the moves up as i go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamer89/pseuds/dreamer89'>dreamer89</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>slytherin goals [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Humor, Canon Compliant, F/M, Families of Choice, Friendship, Gen, Hogwarts Eighth Year, POV Theodore Nott, Personal Growth, Post-War, Slytherin Pride</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:01:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,674</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23921464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamer89/pseuds/dreamer89</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Listen, teenage rebellion, self-discovery and petty crimes are fine, but can everyone just avoid dabbling in the Dark Arts this year?" -Theo Nott, 1998</p><p>It's time for Theo's (reluctant) glow-up amidst Slytherin House's post-war evolution.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Astoria Greengrass &amp; Theodore Nott, Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Daphne Greengrass/Theodore Nott</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>slytherin goals [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601380</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>August 1998</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Theo leaned against the wall, jaw tense and arms folded, hiding his slightly trembling hands. He studied the patterns in the marble floor as he waited outside the courtroom. Theo had watched the earlier proceedings in the trial, but today would be infinitely worse since now it was time for him to testify—against his own father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought back to last evening, when he arrived back at the Greengrass house so exhausted that he almost immediately fell asleep in the sitting room. He awoke in a cold sweat, heart racing as rain pelted against the windows. Theo had been running on little sleep to avoid the nightmares, but they always caught up with him anyway. He quietly made his way upstairs, and a short time later he was standing at the door to Daph’s room, hair damp from the shower, unable to make himself open it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, realising what he would have to do. He continued down the hallway, and knocked at another door. Unlike her sister, she was a light sleeper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s me,” he said. “Can I--er--can I come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be right there,” a voice answered back, and shortly Astoria opened the door and ushered him inside before he could change his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco was awake, too, and they both studied him, trying not to show too much concern because they knew Theo’s abject hatred of concerned looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I said I wanted to do this myself.” Theo paused. “But I don’t know if I can,” he continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want us to come with you?” Draco asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No--no, you shouldn’t have to go back to another courtroom. I don’t want you to have to do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if it was just me?” Astoria interjected before Draco could reply. “I’ll go along, and everyone else will stay here with Daphne.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo nodded. He could live with that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at me,” Astoria said softly. “You are not weak for not wanting to go alone tomorrow. We are going to go to the Ministry and we are going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>do this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks of us. Alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria smiled. “You’re going to ask soon enough, and I know what she’ll say, so we’re going to be in-laws, Theo. You’re stuck with us—it’s already decided. So what time do I need to set my alarm for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clicking sound of high heels jolted Theo out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see Astoria returning from her mission to find caffeine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t those shoes uncomfortable?” he asked, accepting the offered takeaway cup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I think they make me look intimidating yet chic,” she said, striking a pose that was not intimidating in the slightest and laughing at his resulting expression. “You know they’re Charmed to keep me from losing my balance, right? Of course you didn’t. Boys,” she said with exasperation, tossing her hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo checked his watch. Took a sip of coffee. Checked his watch again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I imagine there haven’t been that many Slytherins coming through this entrance lately,” Astoria said dryly. She was right. The seating area for the defendant’s supporters was on the other side of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We continue to defy all expectations,” Theo added in a sardonic tone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Including my own, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought. He wasn’t always so sure he’d see the latter half of 1998. Theo tried to clear that depressing insight from his mind. He pulled a Honeydukes bar out of his pocket and gave half to Astoria. “I still think that theory about chocolate and happiness is bollocks,” he said, “but I suppose it can’t hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time the Wizengamot assistant finally opened the door, Theo and Astoria were in the middle of an old childhood game, trying to pull their hands away before the other could slap them. The woman cleared her throat, and the teenagers immediately switched back to well-practised expressions of cool shrewdness. Once they entered the courtroom, Astoria quickly squeezed Theo’s hand, shot a death glare towards the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Prophet</span>
  </em>
  <span> photographer who sheepishly lowered his camera in response, and managed to send Theo’s father a very rude hand gesture under the pretenses of fixing her hair. Theo couldn’t lie, it was nice to have Astoria as a sort-of sister.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that it made the actual testimony any easier, though. Spilling his guts to a load of old wizards and reporters with nonexistent journalistic integrity was not an experience Theo would ever want to repeat. But he wanted everyone to know that Aurelia Nott’s death was not an accident, no matter what a ten-year-old Theo had been threatened into saying. He couldn’t protect his mother then, but he could damn well make sure that Nott Senior never got another chance to hurt Daphne. So he answered their questions and described his father’s cruelty in relentless detail--sharp blue eyes daring any of them to pity him now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When it was finally over, and they snapped his father’s wand in half, Theo laughed bitterly and wished it brought him more relief than it really did. Astoria saw how badly his hands were shaking and she dragged him into the women’s loo, yelling at everyone else to get out, locked the door and reclined on the menstrual couch with the latest </span>
  <em>
    <span>Witch Weekly</span>
  </em>
  <span> while he smoked a few Muggle cigarettes next to the window. She pretended not to notice when he was crying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough, he was ready to leave, and he thought they’d gotten away without having to see anyone they knew. Then, just before the lift doors could close, an arm blocked them and two redheads slipped inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Astoria! Didn’t expect to see you here...oh, hi,” Ginny Weasley finished awkwardly. Theo nodded in response. Astoria greeted the brother accompanying Ginny, who apparently was called Percy (because of course Astoria knew random Weasleys), and they all engaged in small talk. Theo was more than happy to let Astoria drive that conversation as they’d arrive any second...and then the lift suddenly stopped. A tinny voice came through the speaker; something about a maintenance issue. Theo pinched the bridge of his nose. Why did the fates have to be like this, on today of all days?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least I came prepared,” Astoria said, pulling a flask out of her purse. She took a drink and offered it to Ginny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a bad influence,” the other girl said, but drank anyway. “What? I’m seventeen. Don’t tell Mum though,” she said to Percy, who just shook his head and smiled faintly. Ginny looked over at Theo, and then seemed to remember something. “Uh--were you here for the trial?” she asked. Ginny had known a bit about his father since last year, and after all the shit they’d gone through with the Carrows, they had some sort of weird understanding between one another. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s all over,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guilty on all charges,” Astoria added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The sentence?” Ginny asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Life.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny nodded, and they all stood there in uncomfortable silence for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well...L’chaim,” said Astoria, raising the flask. Theo snorted, and Ginny giggled a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is she always like this?” Percy spoke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Theo and Ginny answered at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Ginny asked after another quiet moment, “How has your summer been?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” Theo said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, same. I was here helping this one reorganise his office because I couldn’t stand to sit around at home anymore.” Percy looked a bit miffed, but then smiled and playfully shoved his sister, who in turn, lightly punched him in the arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been trying to stay busy too,” Astoria said. “Merlin, how are we supposed to go back to school in three weeks? To pretend to be normal when nothing is normal about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You going back, then, Nott?” said Ginny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. And it’s Theo,” he said. “Not the greatest fan of my surname these days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you ever say anything about your father to the teachers at school?” she asked tentatively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did, but it doesn’t matter. There was nothing they could have done anyway. In our world, it’s perfectly legal to have a whip on hand for disrespectful teenagers. Umbridge nearly proved that to you Gryffindors.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Carrows did. That’s why we had to perform our little vanishing act last year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not right,” Astoria said. “None of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Ministry can and should do better,” Percy said softly. “It’ll take time though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll look out for our own at school,” Theo affirmed. “Someone has to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since when do you care about the younger snakes?” Astoria asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo shrugged. “I always have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Theo, you still can’t tell the Carrow twins apart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So? Fuck them anyway, always running to Auntie to make our lives hell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re not coming back this year, thank Salazar. Beauxbatons has to deal with them now. Slytherin’s ranks will be a bit thin, but we’ll manage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of Slytherins returning,” Ginny said, “Is the boyfriend coming too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has a name, and yes, Draco will be at school with us,” Astoria stated with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great, I hate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t understand that relationship either,” Theo said off-handedly, drawing snickers from the two Weasleys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just then the lift started to move again, and a few seconds later the doors opened to let Theo and Astoria make their exit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Going to be a hell of a year,” Ginny said dryly, flashing a smile as Astoria dramatically waved goodbye wearing a grin of her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually agree with Ginny Weasley about something,” Theo remarked. “Who am I anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Reinventing yourself is the hottest new trend,” replied Astoria. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wish it would go </span>
  <em>
    <span>out</span>
  </em>
  <span> of style,” he muttered, following her towards the exit. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>to get some more context, you might want to read my previous work "hold me in this wild, wild world" but it shouldn't be necessary to continue on with this fic! thanks for reading y'all!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Five teenagers stood in a tight cluster, staring at the barrier to Platform 9 ¾. None of them spoke. Theo closed his eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why the fuck are we doing this again?</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh right, because what the hell else are we going to do?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Muggles are staring,” he said. “Look at us, all dressed in black, loitering around. They probably think we’re posh criminals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They wouldn’t exactly be wrong,” drawled a low voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo turned to Draco. “Why don’t you lead the way then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other boy said nothing in response, just raked a hand through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two girls that he recognised as Ravenclaws passed by them silently, shooting them strange looks before posing as if to lean against the wall and then disappearing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, we’re going to have to get to the platform before we get left behind,” Blaise spoke up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The plan is simple: we walk through, stick together, just ignore the looks.” Theo squeezed Daphne’s hand, then signed “stay close,” She nodded and gave his hand two squeezes back in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all turned towards the barrier again, but still no one took a step forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Justin Finch-Fletchley strode by them, only to do a double-take and spin around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you lot going through, or are you planning to just stand around looking all heroin chic?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stared back awkwardly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er--no, you go in first, I insist,” said Blaise, the only one able to find words at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Justin looked puzzled, but turned on his heel and headed for the barrier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Slytherins circled up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heroin chic? Is that...</span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Pansy asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s it, we’re fucked,” Daphne said, too loudly. “Volume?” she signed with a grimace, and Theo nodded. Daph pulled out a piece of spelled parchment to better follow along with the impromptu strategy session. She was still adjusting to being Deaf; they were all adjusting. Theo had spent hours researching magical accommodations and learning to sign. He channelled his energy there since he could actually find books on those topics. There weren’t any titles called </span>
  <em>
    <span>What to Expect When Your Father Curses Your Girlfriend In A War</span>
  </em>
  <span>, however. Theo had checked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to be prepared for anything,” Theo said grimly. “Right--Blaise, you’re on Patronuses.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But there won’t be any dementors!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah but it’s more about creating a daunting appearance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, Daphne--you and I will be ready for Shield Charms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pans, you’re on Stunners if we need them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should prepare to do something nonverbal, Theo, it looks more aggressive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to make a battle formation, you know, like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Focus, Pansy! Your hair looks great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I’m going to die today, I don’t want to have bad hair, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Merlin</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t keep that in your pocket! Blaise’s trunk was the designated contraband trunk!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take my chances.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone, just follow the plan and it will be fine!” Theo interjected before his friends could dissolve into their own bickering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath. “We’ll go on the count of three. Ready--one--two--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why aren’t you all through yet?” came Astoria’s voice from behind them. “I went for a latte fifteen minutes ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The five of them all turned around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria and Tracey had identical poses: left hand on hip, right hand holding overpriced coffee drink, a general aura of self-satisfaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, idiots. It’s your favorite faux-blood, back in action,” Tracey said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that what you’re calling yourself now?” said Pansy. “Catchy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That got a rare Tracey smile in response. Well, it had a Cheshire-cat vibe, but still for Tracey, that was saying something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, what have you been doing here? I told you I would meet you on the platform,” Astoria said and signed at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The five teenagers traded glances.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, er, just, uh--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria rolled her eyes. “Come on.” She grabbed Draco’s hand and headed towards the barrier. They had a brief conversation that mostly consisted of meaningful looks, and that’s all Theo could gather. Draco and Astoria could be enigmatic as hell sometimes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the group reluctantly followed. Theo had already noted all the exits to the station and now he visualised the platform in his head, anticipating any threats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria and Tracey passed through the barrier in a few fluid strides. When a Muggle businessman focused on a silver notepad-type thing in his hands collided with a woman’s wheeled suitcase, Theo saw an opportunity. With so many Muggles distracted, he pushed his friends through before anyone could have second thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then...nothing happened. The train appeared the same as always, and the commotion just as familiar. People noticed them, but all Theo and his friends received were odd half-smiles, nods, some murmurs among groups, and a few stony stares. That was it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Slytherins approached their usual car, and that’s when everyone went silent. But it had nothing to do with them. Potter had arrived, with Weasley, Granger, the Weasley parents, and Ginny, who looked so much older than seventeen, standing there by Potter’s side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two groups surveyed each other silently, nobody moving a muscle. Waiting to see who would make the first move, and what it would be. Potter’s wand hand twitched--Theo flinched--and then he slowly raised his hand into the most uncomfortable wave Theo had ever seen in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Slytherins stiffly stood their ground, except for Pansy who waggled her fingers before Blaise pulled her arm down. “Just trying to be polite,” she grumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re never polite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, well, new year, new me, and all that shit,” she said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Draco--in what seemed like a great show of restraint--inclined his head. “Potter,” he stated flatly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Malfoy,” came the equally pained response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron looked around, and coughed as if to remind everyone that they had an audience. Turns out Molly Weasley had a death glare to match a Slytherin's, and that got rid of most of the gawkers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Think his name’s funny, do you,” Astoria said, stepping forward in a scarily accurate impression of eleven-year-old Draco. “No need to ask who you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny and Pansy gave into giggles and then seemed horrified at their twin reactions, while Blaise and Hermione covered their mouths, trying to maintain more decorum.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Astoria, it was not like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It absolutely was, Astoria. Well done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, Draco, I am defusing the tension.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By being embarrassing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, by using humour. I read it in </span>
  <em>
    <span>How to Win Friends and Influence Wizards</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, this from the girl who practically stripped for the Bloody Baron.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was one time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to hear that story, </span>
  <em>
    <span>immediately!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo didn’t see any signs prohibiting it, so he pulled a pack out of his jacket and lit a cigarette, because he desperately needed one right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a long drag, and then pointed his wand and muttered a quick </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sonorus</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “How about we stop being a public spectacle and get on the bloody train?” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whistle blew as if to echo Theo's statement, and in a flurry of activity the Slytherins boarded their car and Ginny and Hermione the next. Somehow, everyone and their belongings made it on--although Theo saw Ron toss Ginny a gaudy WWW package through the window to the girl’s sheer delight, and Pansy claimed to have seen a Grim to get people out of their way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo closed the window nearest him and sank back into his seat. It was only eleven o’clock and his friends were already driving him mad, but somehow he couldn’t help but feel relief that he was on his way to the closest thing he’d ever had to home. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Theo drummed his fingers on the armrest of the sofa. Daphne was nestled beside him, her head comfortably resting on his shoulder. He had been the first to wake, long before Daph’s new alarm began flashing brightly, and got ready while the dungeons were still dark and quiet. From the common room, Theo had watched as the House slowly started to rouse, from Farley and Harper who ran two miles every morning as part of their intense Quidditch training programme, to a trio of girls who took turns weaving each other’s hair into identical braids. He exchanged nods with his Housemates and then watched them steel themselves--head up, shoulders back--as they exited. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daph joined him and a few more early-risers came and went, but it wasn’t until the prefects turned up that the House really came to life. That was mostly because Astoria was in peak form, pounding on Blaise and Pansy’s door to ensure they were actually awake and then blasting a stereo in the girls’ bathroom loud enough that Theo could hear faint music from the common room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn had been forced to make Astoria the sixth-year girl prefect by default, since the Carrow twins were not returning and the other girl in her year had turned down the position. Astoria thought it was a hilarious twist of fate, especially given she’d basically cracked up in his office last year after being diagnosed with an eventually fatal curse, in a school run by sadists, in the middle of a war. Theo couldn’t really see how anyone could blame her. Who wouldn’t want to flip old Sluggy’s desk when he tries to lecture you about career prospects with all that going on?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, the youngest Slytherins began to emerge, looking equal parts sleepy and nervous. Daph nudged him. “Look at them,” she said, “and look at us, all grown up.” But there was an edge to even her soft smile. If the House members weren’t still living through what happened last year, they were at least worried about being blamed for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t believe we were so young once,” Theo signed to Daphne.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remember you,” she signed back, adding on “and you were just as bad,” while gesturing to two first-year boys. They were nearly strangling each other trying to knot their green and silver ties. Theo spent the next several minutes trying to teach them, and in the end just tied the ties for them, sending them off with a prefect-led group because he did not trust them to make it to breakfast without tripping over their own feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria popped in, seeking Daphne’s urgent opinion on which pair of earrings she should wear, and looking obviously pleased when her sister chose the one she must have already favoured. Second-year Anya Rookwood slipped out from Astoria’s shadow and practically pounced on Daph, energetically asking the older girl to teach her more signs--knowing full well Daphne wouldn't be able to refuse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one should be this thrilled about the first day of classes, especially not when the rest of the school bloody hates us,” said Tracey, leaning in one of the doorways. Annabelle Runcorn shouted her agreement from the corner of the room, where she had pulled out a tube of Charmed-to-last mascara and was using a silver shield on the wall as a makeshift mirror.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t give a toss, Trace,” Astoria responded. “Listen here, everyone,” she said, stepping up onto the coffee table. “This is an age of rebellion, a time of defiance, an era of audacity, and I dare to say--a Slytherin renaissance!” the sixth-year proclaimed. “Seize the day! Create your own destiny! Remember, as a wise wizard once said--like sands through the Time-Turner, so are the days of our lives,” Astoria finished with a practised air of reverence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo heard a “hear, hear” from one corner of the room, and a “whatever” from another. Blaise applauded slowly, and Astoria gave a curtsy as if Zabini were a genuinely appreciative audience. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What ‘wise wizard’ would say something as barmy as that?” Tracey asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t remember, it was on my Scrivenshaft’s Quote-a-Day Calendar last week...What? It’s called being resourceful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaise rolled his eyes teasingly. Astoria had managed to make everyone a little less tense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Tracey was smirking a little as she stepped into the center of the room. “Right, you want enthusiasm? I’ll give you enthusiasm.” She cleared her throat. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s the hard-knock life for us, it’s the hard knock life for us, no one wants to see you win, when you’re in House Slytherin, it’s the hard knock life,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she belted. Theo had not known it was possible to sing that sarcastically, or that Trace could sing at all. The Muggleborn first-year, Courtney Murphy, broke into giggles while Blaise began clapping again and Tracey gave him the V-sign. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t repeat that gesture,” Theo told the first-year, while the rest of the students looked on in bemusement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I might have overdone that Calming Draught, but the sentiment stands,” Tracey said pensively. Theo sighed deeply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you not to take the full dosage your first time,” spoke up Graham Pritchard, who was swiftly elbowed in the ribs by Amaryllis Runcorn. “Not that I know anything about the recreational use of potions, which is very irresponsible, young snakes,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo was quickly realising that he and Daph were the closest thing Slytherin had to sane, rational elders and that was truly terrifying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What even was that, Tracey?” Theo said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s from a Muggle play I was forced to attend this summer. It has a wildly happy ending. I hated it,” said Tracey dryly. She turned to Courtney. “Join me, fellow Muggleborn,” she said to the younger girl. “Let’s give them hell.” Courtney grinned, falling into step with Tracey as they walked out into the corridor, Blaise following with the unspoken agreement of backup in case anyone tried to have a go at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This was typical Hogwarts behaviour</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Theo thought as the common room began to empty, </span>
  <em>
    <span>placing a Muggleborn in Slytherin right after the war and expecting it to just work itself out.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He didn’t have a problem with the girl’s blood status, but it angered him that an eleven-year-old would be used as a pawn in the game of promoting postwar unity. The school loved to make bold statements, but then provide only the flimsiest of support. Theo would not let any of the Slytherins fail this year, from the little Muggleborn, to Essie Rowle who had to be taken into care this summer for her own protection, to Draco, who still had a Cruciatus-induced tremor that made his quill shake sometimes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria made him promise he’d check on Draco before she joined the other prefects guiding the younger students to breakfast, and Theo also noticed that Pansy was missing too (the latter was no surprise given how much time she spent on her makeup). He stood, signing to Daphne that they should divide and conquer, and they went off in separate directions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo walked through the dark corridor to Draco’s room and knocked. There was no answer, but when he tried the door, it was unlocked. He entered the room; it was neat as a pin in stark contrast to the disaster zone belonging to Astoria next door. Draco was shirtless and standing perfectly still, seemingly paralysed in the process of putting on his uniform. His head was bent, looking down at the faded mark on his forearm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Draco?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo moved closer, then placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. Draco jumped, turning suddenly. Panic flashed in his eyes, but then he recognised Theo, and relaxed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Theo,” he said quietly. Draco noticed where his friend’s attention was directed, and quickly grabbed his white shirt, putting it on to hide the Dark Mark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo cleared his throat. “Just wanted to see how you were; nearly everyone else has already left.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco methodically buttoned his shirt, avoiding Theo’s eyes. “Yeah, I’m…” he trailed off. He sat back down on his bed, gaze focused on the now-covered left arm. Theo leaned against Draco’s desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, are you coming then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco swallowed, and kept staring at his arm. "No."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I thought you would say, and you know what, mate, I don’t have time for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” Draco said irritably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This...anguished shirtless brooding thing. Don’t be a cliche, Draco. It’s not on. Besides, though you may have a remarkable capacity for self-sabotage, you’re not the only one who can’t cope. Tracey is so high on a Calming Draught she’s fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>singing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve done far more damage to this school than any of you, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cling to that distinction if you must. But you’re not the only one with scars we wish we didn’t have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco finally met his eyes, then. “I know,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to say this one time and then pretend I never did...Astoria jokes about us becoming in-laws but you already are a brother to me. Thus, you are obligated to come to breakfast with me and look after our maladjusted group of serpents including Tracey-bloody-Warbeck because this House is all I’ve got.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco smiled, ever so slightly, then paused in thought. “You sure you haven’t sampled some potions yourself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quite sure, and that is most alarming,” he replied in a very Snape-like voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes I think we would have been better off being left in the Forbidden Forest for the Centaurs to raise,” Draco said, Summoning his bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would have helped my Divination marks,” said Theo. “Nah, I reckon I’m done with parental figures. Even Salazar fucked off and left us, back in the early days. We’ll do a better job ourselves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They left the room, walking shoulder to shoulder. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>special thanks to Sihir_The_Slytherin and other online friends for their guidance and support with this work!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Theo was already lying awake, watching the ceiling through aching eyes, when he heard the muffled screams. He and Astoria had both placed Extendable Ears on their nightstands to pick up any sounds from the common room; they were a bit out of range but it was better than nothing. Informal security measures made them all feel safer. They tried to disguise them as quirks--Astoria insisted on complicated passphrases that mostly relied on Muggle song lyrics, and earlier this evening he and Daphne had led the first and second years in a few games of hide-and-seek and ‘the floor is devil’s snare.’ Sure, it was an easy way to burn off excess energy, but they also wanted the younger children to be able to hide at a moment’s notice. It’s what they should have done the first time round, with the Carrows, instead of thinking of themselves. They wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully removed Daphne’s arm from where it was entwined around his own, and opened the door to see Astoria greeting him with a wan smile. She had on a worn Slytherin Quidditch t-shirt that must have been Draco’s from his early years on the team, given how it fit her petite frame. Wands drawn, they silently moved alongside opposite walls towards the common room. It had sounded like a nightmare, but they weren’t taking any chances. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Theo saw the boy, thrashing in his sleep on the sofa, he let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. He signed to Astoria that he would take the lead and approached the boy. It was Darius Flint, Marcus’s younger brother. The Carrows had targeted him after they found out that Marcus wasn’t supporting the Death Eaters. After the war ended, Darius had chosen his brother over his parents and was effectively cut off. Theo gently shook the boy awake, and caught him before he tumbled off the sofa in his panic. He kept his arms around Darius as the boy’s breathing slowed down. Astoria seemed to understand exactly what was going on in his head and she started talking to Darius, telling him it was just a dream, that he was going to be alright, that the Carrows were never coming back here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Darius looked up in surprise. “How did you know it was about them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria’s eyes flickered like she was hiding something; Theo knew her well enough to pick up on this particular tell. “I have them too. We all have them,” she told Darius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Darius turned his attention to Theo, and the older boy nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I woke up Nick last night, and now he’s got Annabelle all worried about me. Came out here because I didn’t want any fuss,” Darius said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too bad, because you are part of a family here in Slytherin, an often dysfunctional family, but a family all the same,” Astoria said. She ruffled the boy’s hair. “We will fuss and you will like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Darius’s lips quirked upwards but he shook his head a moment later. “I’m fine,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not fine,” Theo said. “None of us are fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truer words,” Astoria said grimly. Then she brightened again, Summoning some mugs she had ‘borrowed’ from the Great Hall and using a few Charms to make tea. “I got it from Megan, some herbal shit. Hufflepuffs claim it helps your mood, so I thought why not give it a go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo and Darius both sent her doubtful looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just drink the fucking tea, boys,” Astoria said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Astoria asked Darius to help her with today’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Prophet</span>
  </em>
  <span> crossword to help distract him, and Theo perused the bookshelves. He had given up on sleep tonight anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is going on here?” came a voice from the doorway. Great. Slughorn. “There was a sound disturbance to the wards...oh, right...I see…” Their Head seemed especially flustered. That’s when Theo remembered that all he had on was a pair of joggers, so Slughorn could clearly see the scars on his back. “I trust you have this handled, Miss Greengrass,” he said quickly. Of course he wouldn’t want to deal with that. The man barely acknowledged Theo’s existence for the past two years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo turned around, and seeing Slughorn’s expression flit between guilt and repulsion made him even angrier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we’re absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Merely a nightmare. Thank you for your concern,” Theo said coldly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t realise you added wards this year, Professor,” said Astoria with a tone of fake politeness. “How reassuring that you’ve taken a greater interest in our whereabouts, especially coming all the way down here, so far from your office.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm, yes, well you all should be off to bed, shouldn’t you? Good night!” their Head stated, nearly tripping over himself to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria opened her mouth to retort, but Theo spoke before she could get a word out. “Just drop it,” he said through gritted teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Un-fucking-believable,” she said once Slughorn had gone. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I trust you have this handled</span>
  </em>
  <span>...I’ll show him how I handle things.” Astoria kicked the coffee table in frustration and then fell backwards onto the sofa in pain. “Shit. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Episkey</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she said, laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo shook his head at her antics and took a sip of tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what? Fuck him, and his wards. Darius--you really should go to bed, but in the morning I want you to tell all the third-years on up to clear their schedules for Friday night. I had planned on hosting what we’ll call an informal gathering here, but we’ll have to adapt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Informal gathering’ was Astoria-speak for wild party, and the glint in her eyes meant she had something even more out-of-control in her mind now…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Broomstick</span>
  <em>
    <span> jousting</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Daphne said incredulously. He had returned to their room to find her engrossed in another of her </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ilvermorny Girls</span>
  </em>
  <span> books, her usual strategy when she couldn’t fall back asleep. Then she proceeded to grill him about her sister’s latest scheme.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t my idea,” Theo signed. “And look at it this way--it’s not Triwizard levels of dangerous, and the school approved that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m guessing the school isn’t going to know about this,” she signed back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She fell back, head hitting her pillow. “Brilliant. An underground broomstick jousting league. There’s our contribution to Hogwarts history,” Daphne said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let out a little huff for emphasis, but then curled up facing him, her thumb tracing small circles along his upper arm. Theo still had a hard time being touched; Daph had learned which comforting measures wouldn’t stress him out or make him flinch away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He saw my back,” he signed. “Slughorn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Theo,” she whispered, pulling him closer. “What did he say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. Never seen him leave a conversation so quickly.” Theo laughed humorlessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like he didn’t know when it was happening. Snape too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It used to fuck with my head when I was younger,” he signed, hands starting to shake. “I was always being punished for something, but no one else ever really did anything. Started to think I deserved it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never did,” she signed and spoke aloud--everything about her hands and voice adamant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daphne took his hand and squeezed once; Theo clasping hers twice in return. They knew what it meant, without having to say it aloud. Merlin, he couldn’t even sign it yet. That would make it too good to be true, so instead he leaned over with the guise of turning off the light and kissed her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Friday rolled around, Astoria assigned Theo and Daphne the roles of King and Queen of Arms, which was a medieval way of saying referee according to a random painting in the castle she consulted. Daph agreed to the role as soon as Astoria brought out the tiara, and Theo was convinced with a bottle of Ogden’s, which he and Daph were currently passing back and forth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The jousting itself was a ridiculous sight. Astoria had purposefully sought out the oldest, most dilapidated brooms in the school’s storage, and she and Vanessa Mason in Hufflepuff created makeshift lances out of whatever they could find lying around. Most of the event consisted of creatively obscene chants and kids falling on their faces; no one seemed to care about the competition. Technically, it was Slytherin vs. Hufflepuff, but students from both Houses were cheering for one another, and laughing as their own Housemates tumbled off their brooms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They would probably have to carry Astoria back to the dungeons, Theo thought as he sat there holding Daphne’s hand, watching the younger Greengrass and Draco go shot-for-shot before launching into a lip sync/air guitar performance that he couldn’t wait to hold over Draco’s head the next day. This probably wasn’t the wisest way of dealing with war trauma, but the grin on Daph’s face made it all worthwhile. He hadn’t seen her smile like that in ages. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> I will not disrespect the educational opportunities I have been granted. </em> Every student in the all-Slytherin Muggle Studies class had been forced to copy that sentence over and over in detention tonight. It was only Monday, and Theo was already done with this week. He walked through the castle, alone, wrist sore from writing. He had told his friends he would take the long way back to the dungeons; he needed time to think. Theo knew Pansy was furious, and he didn’t have the patience to listen to her rehash it. </p><p>This morning had been the first session of mandatory Muggle Studies, or Hell, as Pansy had amended their timetables to read. Blaise had played one small prank, and Professor Tremlett had given them all detention because no one would confess or worse, turn him in. Theo knew that the other professors wouldn’t even <em>say</em> the word “detention,” with the memories of the Carrows still so fresh. He supposed he and his friends didn’t warrant that consideration in Tremlett’s mind. </p><p>The detention had been a carefully orchestrated exercise in humiliation, aimed especially at Draco and Astoria. In his head, Theo could still see the barely-concealed pain in his friend’s eyes as Draco wrote with his right hand, his other arm stretched out on the desk in front of the class with the sleeve rolled past his elbow. Astoria sat next to him, also facing the class, struggling with the quill in her left hand while her actual dominant hand was stretched out so her fingers intertwined with Draco’s. Tremlett had mockingly referred to them as the ‘power couple of Slytherin House’ when she gave them the instructions. Theo was completely, one hundred percent fucking done with people talking to him about respect. </p><p>Yes, he had been a cunt about blood purity. Draco had been a massive cunt. The two of them had already come to that conclusion before the war even ended. It was less clear what they should do about that now, but he suspected the rest of the world didn’t really know either. </p><p>The next day, Theo, Pansy, and Blaise attempted to work on their Muggle Studies homework in the common room. He was ready to give up after about five minutes, however. </p><p>“Why do we need to know about the Muggles going to the fucking Moon? Who cares?” he asked. </p><p>“I’m guessing the point is to show us how brilliantly advanced they are so that we concede and beg for forgiveness for our past Muggle-hating sins,” Pansy said with an eye roll. </p><p>“How do we know it’s true, anyway? My Muggle, ah, business associate told me it was faked,” came a voice from the sofa.</p><p>“Blaise, I don’t think your weed dealer is a credible source,” Pansy replied.</p><p>Theo was only a few sentences in, but he could already envision the inevitable ‘T’ mark in red ink on his essay. </p><p>But Theo’s week would only get worse when Wednesday rolled around. Running a bit late, he made it to breakfast to find a completely silent Slytherin table. That was never a good sign. His friends appeared to be in a state of shock.</p><p>“Who died?” he asked.</p><p>“No one, unless you count our reputations,” Astoria said. “Skeeter didn’t hold back. It’s bad, Theo.”</p><p>“Let me see.”</p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want to wait, read it later?”</p><p>“Let. Me. See.”</p><p>Astoria relented and passed him a copy of the morning <em> Prophet. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 9 September 1998 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Slytherin’s Conspiratorial Squad: A plot against the Hogwarts Heroes?</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Another year begins at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and we send our best wishes to those students returning to the castle, standing strong after the trying times of war, writes Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent. This includes the returning “Eighth Year” students, hoping to reclaim what should have been a normal, final NEWT year.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yet it seems some unsavory characters have slipped through the cracks. In the opinion of one Daily Prophet reporter, the school’s standards are continuously slipping, especially now in the fallout of the Battle of Hogwarts. There are seven Slytherins who have caught our suspicion, many of whom were associated with Dolores Umbridge’s questionable activities as High Inquisitor of Hogwarts. We should all be watching out for this Conspiratorial Squad, we at the Prophet warn all concerned citizens.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> We all know Theodore Nott, Jr., testified against his father in the Wizengamot last month, but is it really wise to welcome the damaged son of a murderer back to the hallowed halls of Hogwarts? It is especially troubling that he is still reportedly dating Daphne Greengrass, the poor spell-addled witch who is one of Theodore Nott, Sr.’s many victims. Does she truly have the mental capacity to make her own decisions, or will this relationship come to a tragic end as it did for Nott Senior’s late wife?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> We have received some alarming information about Nott Senior, specifically related to the treatment of his wife and son, that previously had not been released to the public... </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Theo glanced over the following paragraphs before the newspaper burst into flames from his accidental magic. He saw Daphne extinguish the fire with a wave of her wand, displaying her practised proficiency at nonverbal spells--but everything seemed to be playing in slow motion. Blood was pounding in his ears. He felt people’s eyes studying him, like he was an object on display. </p><p>His instincts took over and he took off running, until his lungs were on fire. Theo stopped, resting his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath. He hadn’t had the greenhouses in mind; he had just wanted to get far away from the Great Hall.</p><p>“Morning, Nott,” came a voice to his left. Longbottom was there, calmly pruning some sort of climbing vine.</p><p>Theo studied the ground as if there was some important answer hidden in the dewy grass.</p><p>“Want to give me a hand with this?” the other boy asked. Theo gave no response, and Neville shrugged. “Or you could just stand there and look especially brooding whilst I carry on.”</p><p>“You see the paper today?”</p><p>Neville nodded.</p><p>“It was bad enough that you had to find out, after the battle,” Theo ground out. “But that bitch printed <em> everything.” </em></p><p>“Skeeter was bang out of order. Wish people would stop fueling her fire. The Ministry leaks like a sieve, that’s what Hermione says.” Neville paused. “I don’t judge you, Theo, for what you’ve survived.”</p><p>“I can’t. I can’t talk about this,” Theo said tersely, jaw tense.</p><p>“Alright...Do you want me to leave you alone? I can finish this up later.”</p><p>“No,” Theo said. “Will tobacco kill that thing?”</p><p>Neville laughed. “Smoke away.”</p><p>Astoria found him on his third cigarette, Neville still busy with plant maintenance.</p><p>“Finally found you. I’m trying to keep track of everyone today. Tracey’s considering challenging Skeeter to a duel, Pansy is hiding out in Slughorn’s office, and you really should have seen Draco’s face when he got to the part implying that he and I are in a passionate and dangerous S&amp;M relationship. And then Dean Thomas said that at least Draco won’t have to worry about anyone trying to hex him in the corridor, lest they do more to help than harm. That’s a memory for the Pensieve if there ever was one,” Astoria said rather dreamily.</p><p>Theo blinked, unable to find words.</p><p>“At least Tracey’s off the potions,” Neville said. </p><p>“Another silver lining, thanks Neville.”</p><p>Theo tossed the cigarette stub onto the stone path and ground it out with his shoe.</p><p>“Oh, before I forget,” Neville said to Astoria, Summoning something from his bag. “Here’s your mixtape back. Nice selection.”</p><p>“I can’t take the credit; it’s from my Ilvermorny pen pal. She might visit London in the spring, maybe you can meet her.”</p><p>“Cool. I really liked that one song, the semi-charmed life one. What’s that about, anyway?”</p><p>“Drugs, from what I understand,” Astoria said, “and love.”</p><p>Neville smiled. “We should get back to the castle, before we’re late to class,” he said. </p><p>Theo followed behind the two teenagers as they continued chatting. He would focus on his classes until he could spend the weekend with Daph in Slytherin, and not have to think about the outside world. This week couldn’t get any worse, right?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the back row of the classroom, Theo slouched further in his seat. The seventh and eighth years had Defence class immediately after lunch on Fridays. So of course, the lesson had begun amidst scattered whispers, bored fidgeting, and passing notes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>McGonagall had scraped the bottom of the barrel with Professor Lewis, the only person desperate enough to take a job that everyone reckoned was still cursed. He had been an Auror from 1993 to 1995, but quit the day after the Triwizard Tournament and fucked off to the Continent under some flimsy excuse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After his melodramatic throat-clearing failed to rein in the class, Professor Lewis resorted to shouting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Quiet!</span>
  </em>
  <span>" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few of the students flinched at the raised voice, but Lewis was unfazed as he continued. "If you don't give me your utmost attention, I suppose we can start the term with a review on Boggarts, can't we?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo couldn’t help but laugh out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the class turned in their seats, surprised that reserved and stoic Theo, of all people, was the one to speak up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is astonishing that you think you have the right to even say that,” he intoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Nott--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t interrupt,” Theo snapped back. “I don’t want to hear another word. I’ve had enough of people who use fear as a weapon. I’ve had enough of authority, and discipline, and the fucking</span>
  <em>
    <span> might of magic</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Look where that got us! Not that you were there to see the worst of it, but we bloody were!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How dare you address a teacher--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You come at me with a firm hand and I swear to Salazar I’ll curse it off!” shouted Theo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>The Headmistress’s office! Now!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I would agree we’re done here. Unless you want to duel it out and see how serious I am?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Theo,” came a hesitant voice from behind him. “Theo, just go...Please.” He had never heard Draco sound like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> outside of Slytherin. So he wordlessly Summoned his things and left the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s how Theo found himself facing McGonagall, standing before her desk after refusing the offered chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t we save us both some time and get on with the expulsion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to expel you, Mr. Nott.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to strongly encourage that I drop out, then? Where do I have to sign?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you no longer wish to be a student?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you care about what I want. Just spare me whatever lecture you have in mind and I’ll be out of your hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you cease your assumptions and let the Headmistress speak?” interrupted a voice to Theo’s right. It was Snape’s painting, and the surprise at seeing it for the first time silenced the teenager for a moment. Then, Theo sighed rather theatrically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Professor Snape. The last time I saw you,</span>
  <em>
    <span> Headmaster</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you flew out of a fucking window,” he said with a sardonic smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape fixed him with a withering glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Language, Nott,” McGonagall chided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Going to break out the special quill? Maybe Transfigure me into something? That’ll teach me.” He crossed his arms. “If you need more ideas, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Prophet</span>
  </em>
  <span> described in detail how to keep me in line.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>McGonagall winced and Theo grinned viciously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I imagine you have a great deal of anger you’ve been holding inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea what you mean,” came Theo’s deadpan reply, in a clear mockery of Snape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ghost of a smile passed over the Headmistress’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you like to do in your spare time?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo had not been expecting </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever considered pursuing any interests or hobbies?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck was she on about?</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Theo thought to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Actually, I have loads to do outside of classes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Such as?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Several things,” he answered, completely blanking on any other response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chain-smoking and glowering at staff are not hobbies, Mr. Nott.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo could have sworn he heard a suppressed chuckle from Dumbledore’s portrait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Growing up, I had one game and it was ‘stay out of his way.’ So I escaped into books to deal with my </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>misery</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>grief.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Isn’t that a </span>
  <em>
    <span>wonderful </span>
  </em>
  <span>story about how libraries are </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> there for the lonely souls who need to get a life.” He rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake, I’m not Granger. Don’t try to make me into a more depressing version of her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>McGonagall looked at him for a moment, but it wasn’t with pity. It was something else Theo couldn’t sort out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I disagree with the Defence professor’s methods, but there were better ways you could have dealt with the situation. I am assigning you five detentions, to be served with me. That is, if you still choose to remain a student here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like I have any other prospects at the moment,” Theo said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Your first detention starts now.” With a few flicks of her wand, McGonagall conjured a sofa and a small table with a plate of biscuits resting on top of it. “You are not leaving this room for the next hour. You look like you’ve hardly been sleeping or eating.” Theo stood there in confusion, and she motioned him along. “Not that I imagine you’d have any interest, but there are several excellent Potions books on the third shelf over there,” she continued, pointing towards one of the bookcases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo studied her, waiting for the catch. She seemed to understand this, but patiently sat there in a manner that reminded him of Dumbledore surveying the students from his seat in the Great Hall. He wondered if that tactic was passed down to every new head of school. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re forcing me to stay here with nothing else to do, I guess I could have a look,” he said tersely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure books pose no competition to your exhilarating social life, Mr. Nott,” replied McGonagall. Dumbledore definitely laughed that time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After begrudgingly eating some of the ginger newts, Theo thought he’d close his eyes just for a second, but when he woke with a start his watch showed half past four. McGonagall was gone, so he quietly left her office, exercising great restraint by not glaring at any of the portraits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco found him sitting alone in the Quidditch stands watching the sunset. He joined Theo on the bench, greeting him with a half-smile. They sat there silently for several minutes until finally Theo spoke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After he threatened us with boggarts, I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t feel like watching Astoria die twice.” They both knew that was most likely what would appear before both Draco and Daphne. The blood curse was the sword hanging over Astoria’s head that Draco especially tried to block out of view. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you, though?” he asked Theo quietly. “It would have been your father, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo nodded, staring straight ahead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m the reason Skeeter wrote that article; me coming back to Hogwarts.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t blame yourself. I’m still the son of a Death Eater.” Theo sighed. “You know what I hate the most about it? It’s that my mum will only be remembered as a victim. No one cares about who she was.” He swallowed and blinked any hint of tears away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can listen,” Draco said. “If you want to talk about her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was an unwritten rule among their Slytherin group that Theo’s mother was off-limits for discussion, but suddenly Theo wanted nothing more than to take up Draco’s offer. So he gave in, just this once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, she always liked Transfiguration,” he began before he could change his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sunset gave way to dusk as Theo spoke. Describing one memory would bring another one to the surface, and he felt some of the tension within him ease a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then a voice called from below, cutting through the still night air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nott? Is that you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost instantaneously, three wands lit up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Granger? What’s going on?” Draco asked, and Theo saw a flicker of panic in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, nothing’s wrong!” she called out quickly. “Sorry, um, Nott--you left this in the Defence classroom and I thought I’d make sure you got it and..” she drifted off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be right down,” Theo said, and they descended from the stands while Granger waited, biting her lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, so, here you go,” Granger said, holding out a leather-bound notebook. “I thought it might be important and I know if it were mine, I wouldn’t want anyone looking through my things."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo let out a small laugh. “It’s where Daphne and I write down our signs. You know, because there aren’t any magical terms in BSL so we have to make them up ourselves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, of course,” replied Granger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daphne gave me a name sign the other day,” Granger said, demonstrating for him. He grinned in return. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did she show you hers?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl’s face fell. “Oh no, I completely forgot to ask.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo shrugged. “I can teach you. And some other signs, if you’d like. It would help Daph, she hates those bloody captioning glasses Flitwick gave her until he can come up with something better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to leave?” Draco interrupted, standing very stiffly with his hands in his pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to,” Granger said. “It’s not--it’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco raised his eyes from the ground to meet hers, and she didn’t look away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should head back to the castle,” Theo said. “We look a bit shifty talking in the dark and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Granger raised her eyebrows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. Let’s just go,” Theo said, and they began walking towards the castle as the last light faded from the sky. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Today we’re going to brew a Strength-Enhancing Elixir,” Professor Slughorn said to his NEWT class. “I thought for this potion, a hands-on demonstration would be useful. So, let’s have Macmillan, Doherty, and...Nott to the front of the room, please.”</p><p>Theo shot Blaise a look that conveyed his real feelings about this activity and then adjusted his features into a neutral expression as he made his way forward. Ernie Macmillan gave him a friendly smile, while the Ravenclaw, Henry Doherty, looked far too pleased with himself at being chosen.</p><p>“First we need to establish a baseline to which we will compare the results after taking the potion. Gentlemen: press-ups. As many as you can without stopping. Let’s get to it!” Slughorn clapped his hands. </p><p>Theo’s hands moved on autopilot, taking off his jumper and rolling up his shirt sleeves. </p><p>“Pay attention, ladies!” Slughorn exclaimed in a jovial tone. “They’ve got the brains to be in this class, now let’s see the brawn! Come on, lads!”</p><p>Theo went somewhere inside his head, like he had done so many times before. He was aware of the other students’ chatter and Doherty’s showy stretching, but he felt far away from it all. He dropped to the floor efficiently and began. </p><p>It didn’t take long before Doherty fell on his face with a groan. </p><p>“Oh, please,” came Ginny’s voice from above, pulling him closer to reality. “He only made it to eighteen! I’m the school’s best Chaser, I’ll show you brawn.” </p><p>A few seconds later, Ginny dropped down next to him.</p><p>“How’s it going, Theo?” she said cheerfully. “I’ve got some catching up to do.”</p><p>Theo couldn’t help but crack a small smile, but he remained focused.</p><p>Macmillan managed thirty-three before his arms gave out. </p><p>“Not done yet,” said Ginny, some exertion leaking into her voice.</p><p>She pressed on, but eventually she was done, having achieved fifty-five.</p><p>Without Ginny there, Theo went deeper inside his own head. But in that space, there were echoes of a voice he could never completely block out. <em> Arrogant. Shameful. Worthless. </em>His arms were burning, but he wouldn’t be able to stop until total failure. It was too ingrained in him.</p><p>Finally, he couldn’t push himself up anymore, and he quickly stood after his chest hit the ground. </p><p>The students all wore stunned expressions, except for Draco and Blaise standing together against the wall. </p><p>“Ninety-six,” Slughorn said, looking just as shocked as the others. </p><p>The professor had recovered by the time Theo put his jumper back on.</p><p>“Yes, yes, impressive--but let’s get to the potion! Since the process takes up more time, you’ll work in groups of three and one group of four. I’ll let our volunteers choose groups. Alphabetical order--we’ll start with Mr. Doherty.”</p><p>Doherty picked another Ravenclaw seventh-year. </p><p>Then it was Macmillan’s turn. Theo was expecting him to select the only other Hufflepuff in the class, but instead he smiled thoughtfully and said, “I choose Runcorn.” Amaryllis’s eyes brightened, and she blushed slightly. Theo had never seen a Runcorn blush before. He wasn’t sure anyone in his House had.</p><p>An idea popped into Theo’s head, and the physical effort must have affected his brain too, because he decided to go with it. </p><p>“Granger,” he said simply. Someone gasped. Blaise laughed. Hermione shrugged. </p><p>Theo turned his head to see Ginny standing there, arms crossed. Slowly, a smirk that could match any Slytherin’s spread across her face.</p><p>“There’s only one way I can beat that,” she said. “I pick Malfoy.”</p><p>Ginny beamed at Slughorn’s flustered expression.</p><p>The students chose the rest of the groups, and Theo got Blaise, who seemed content enough with the decision. Hermione waved them over to one of the front tables. Ginny had the group of four, with Draco and two seventh-year Slytherins, and they began setting up at the table directly to the left of Theo’s trio.</p><p>“My snakes and I are going to win this thing, Hermione!” Ginny proclaimed.</p><p>“Whatever,” said Draco, but he was far more energized than Theo had seen him in any of their other classes.</p><p>“Ginny, it’s not a competition,” said Hermione.</p><p>“Yes it is,” interjected Blaise. </p><p>Theo leaned over to Hermione and said in a low voice, “Sluggy loves a bit of friendly rivalry. He’ll say it’s ‘good for one’s constitution’ or some shit like that.” Granger told him to focus on chopping the gurdyroots, but both of them were smiling as they continued working. </p><p>Blaise and Ginny threw a few more teasing jibes back and forth before Slughorn approached their tables.</p><p>“Ah, splendid, we’ve got a rivalry brewing here. Nothing better for one’s constitution, that’s what I say!” </p><p>Hermione burst into laughter, hiding her face behind her Potions book.</p><p>The rest of class passed by quickly as they were engrossed in the work. They finished the potion without a hitch, deposited their samples on Slughorn’s desk, and started cleaning up. After Blaise went to return some leftover ingredients to the storeroom, Granger turned her attention to him. </p><p>“That was rather impressive, you know. All those press-ups.”</p><p>“I’ve had loads of practice,” he said flatly. </p><p>“I never knew you did sports.”</p><p>Theo tensed his jaw. “I didn’t.”</p><p>“Hmm, most wizards don’t seem to be into physical fitness.”</p><p>Theo didn’t answer.</p><p>Hermione continued, “You were so focused too, it was like most of the time you didn’t even know we were there.”</p><p>“Great observation; ten points to Gryffindor,” he said in an icy tone. </p><p>“Theo...did I say something to offend you?” Hermione asked.</p><p>“No, that’s not it...Sorry. Forget it.”</p><p>“What’s wrong, Theo? You can tell me.” She reached out, gently touching his hand. </p><p>“My father was very determined to toughen me up. I learnt to go somewhere else in my mind,” he said, scrubbing at an invisible spot on the table. </p><p>“God, Theo, I didn’t know--”</p><p>“--It’s fine.”</p><p>“I wrote a letter to the <em> Prophet </em> condemning that horrible Skeeter article. Those details should never have been published,” said Hermione emphatically. “And then to find that there’s no NSPCC to ring up, no Ministry department to report the mistreatment of children, it’s not right.”</p><p>Theo furrowed his brow in confusion. “Wait--are you saying the Muggles have laws about that sort of thing?”</p><p>“Yes, Theo, there are laws. Muggles can even go to prison for those crimes.”</p><p>Theo was silent for a few moments. “I didn’t know that,” he said quietly. </p><p>She touched his hand again, getting Theo to look at her. “Not your fault,” she said, and he could read the empathy in her eyes. </p><p>“Oi, you two swots, let’s get out of here and go to lunch!” Blaise called out from the other side of the classroom. He leaned in the doorway waiting for them while they packed up their things.</p><p>“You know, if you want to practise more sign language, Daphne has lunch right now too,” Theo said to Hermione as they left the room.</p><p>“Me? At the Slytherin table?”</p><p>“Sure, why not?” Theo said.</p><p>“But I’m--”</p><p>“We know,” Blaise interrupted. “Come on, Granger, I promise none of us snakes will bite,” he added. </p><p>“Alright,” Hermione said, “but only because we clearly made a better potion than Ginny and Malfoy’s group and if they insist upon it being a competition, then I look forward to winning.”</p><p>Theo grinned. Picking Granger hadn’t been a bad idea at all. </p><p>The rest of that week’s classes were not nearly as interesting, but Theo and Daphne had managed to get in some “studying” within the stacks of the Restricted Section. Certainly not the worst week he’d ever spent at school.</p><p>McGonagall organised a parent visitation day for Saturday, since the castle was now full of traumatised students with worried parents. None of Theo’s friends expected their parents to turn up. Instead, the Conspiratorial Squad (as Skeeter had nicknamed them) held their first official meeting, which translated to day drinking and flying around on the Quidditch pitch. </p><p>Theo laid on the grass with Daphne curled up beside him, too drunk to fly anymore. Pansy and Blaise had agreed to alternate who controlled the music selections from a magically enhanced stereo, and they were finishing off a box of nettle wine with Tracey. </p><p>Draco and Astoria were still in the air; after flying side-by-side, she had released the Snitch and whispered something in his ear that sent him in pursuit faster than Theo had ever seen him in an actual match. </p><p>Theo twirled a lock of Daphne’s blonde hair as she traced patterns on his arm. He lost track of time, but eventually Draco caught the Snitch and effortlessly dove, making a direct course for Astoria hovering near the goalposts. He presented the Snitch to her, and then swept her into a kiss. Theo had to turn his head away after the kiss became an intense mid-air snogging session. He brought his gaze back after a few moments, hoping it was safe, to see Draco frozen up above. Theo could see the tension radiating off of him while Astoria glared at something in the distance.</p><p>“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE <em> YOU </em> DOING HERE?” he yelled.  </p><p>Theo and Daphne sat up to see what was going on.</p><p>“Oh, no,” Daphne groaned. </p><p>Standing at the edge of the pitch, looking up in disgust at Draco and Astoria, was none other than Lucius Malfoy. </p><p>“You didn’t answer my owls, Draco. For all I knew, you could have been dead or in the hospital wing, but instead you’re consorting with…” his eyes flicked towards Astoria, Tracey, and Daphne. “…Undesirables.”</p><p>“I didn’t answer your owls because I don’t want to hear from you. Don’t you have anywhere else to be? Actually, I’m not surprised no one wants to associate with you.”</p><p>“I am still highly regarded amongst the purebloods who matter.”</p><p>“Go annoy them, then!”</p><p>“I wanted to see how my son’s education was going,” Lucius said snidely as Draco and Astoria descended and dismounted their brooms. The rest of their friends, including Theo, walked over to stand behind the couple as Draco grew more infuriated.</p><p>“Are you delusional? Concerned with my education? You got sacked from the one job you’ve ever had for helping to unleash a basilisk on this school! Who does that?!”</p><p>“I’m not sure a school governorship counts as a job per se,” Astoria interjected.</p><p>“Well it’s closer to honest work than swanning about, bribing people, and doing Dark Arts!”</p><p>“That is a great point, Draco,” said Astoria.</p><p>“I will not be spoken to like this by my own son!”</p><p>“Oh, I’m nowhere near done. Remember that hippogriff you thought you had executed? Well guess what, IT LIVED! It’s still over there with Hagrid, because your stupid schemes never work!”</p><p>Theo massaged his temples, while Draco and his father continued to argue. </p><p>“Go home, Lucius,” he shouted.</p><p>“I don’t have a proper home to go to, because of my ungrateful son and this conniving little shrew. She’s corrupted you, Draco,” Lucius spat.</p><p>“Yes, we did take over the Manor,” Draco said, glaring at his father. “Because <em> you </em>gave me an ultimatum. If you ask me to choose between you and her, the answer is always her.”</p><p>“I thought you wanted to burn it down just to spite me.”</p><p>“I really did think about burning it down. But I realised that defiling the Manor with my blood traitor girlfriend would be even better.”</p><p>“Why won’t you come to your senses and stop wasting time with a harlot who will disease our family line!”</p><p>“DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT ASTORIA!” Draco roared, drawing his wand. “You. Do not. Control. My life. Get this through your head.”</p><p>Lucius narrowed his eyes.</p><p>“I would think twice about going for your wand if I were you,” Theo said, raising his own wand. Around him, Pansy, Blaise, Tracey, and Daphne followed suit. </p><p>Lucius stared at his son and his friends with contempt; but realizing he was outnumbered, he sighed bitterly. "Never have I been more <em> disappointed </em> in my own House..." he said, shooting one last dark look at Astoria before turning on his heel and leaving.</p><p>“Have a nice walk! Hope you trip over that ridiculous cane,” Draco shouted at Lucius’s retreating form. </p><p>Astoria took his hand, whispering to him in what Theo assumed was an attempt to get him to calm down. But then she turned and called out, “Lovely visit! Don’t come again!” She tossed her hair. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” she said to Draco, before leading him back to the castle.</p><p>Theo raked a hand through his hair and sighed. He looked around, trying to remember where he had left his broomstick. </p><p>Then he noticed a gobsmacked Ginny flanked by her parents, approaching his group.</p><p>“Ah, you missed the show,” he said, strolling over to her.</p><p>“I saw enough. Did that really just happen?” Ginny asked him.</p><p>“What, Draco melting down like a cheap cauldron? Yeah, I reckon that’s been building up for awhile.” Theo smirked. “Tell me Ginny, were your secret club meetings this eventful?”</p><p>“You mean the DA? We had our fair share of excitement, but nothing like that.”</p><p>“The Conspiratorial Squad never ceases to amaze,” he said sardonically. </p><p>“I have to agree there..oh, Theo, I don’t know if you’ve officially met my parents,” said Ginny. “Mum, Dad, this is Theo Nott. We have Potions together.”</p><p>“Pleased to meet you,” he said with a quick nod.</p><p>To his surprise, Molly smiled at him. “It is a lovely day for flying, isn’t it,” she remarked.</p><p>“Yes, it was...er, we were just about to leave anyway...”</p><p>“I understand, dear,” she said, tilting her head towards Daphne and the others. “It’s a time for family.”</p><p>Theo swallowed the lump in his throat, and nodded at the Weasleys again. </p><p>Daphne jogged over to him, blonde hair shining in the sun. She waved at Ginny, then motioned for Theo to follow her. She led him on a playful chase, but he caught up to her quickly, picking her up in his arms. </p><p>“So strong,” she breathed, before his lips met hers. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The Saturday after Parents’ Day, Theo was working on a Transfiguration essay in the library when Draco sat down across from him. He rested his chin on his knuckles while he waited for Theo to finish his paragraph.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have made a decision,” he announced.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Theo blinked. “Alright.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Draco reached in his bag. “This is something I’ve been thinking about since we got back to school. After last Saturday, I think it’s about time to do it.” He passed the neat stack of parchment across the table, the Ministry symbol prominently displayed in the top corner.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Petition for Legal Name Change</em>, it read. It was already filled out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Theo skimmed over the paperwork.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alcaeus?” he asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...Seriously?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I had a look at my family tree. Alcaeus Malfoy is the only one who hasn’t been accused of criminal activity, Dark Magic, multiple extramarital affairs, or in one case from 1605, allegedly starting a cult that tried to hex the moon. Also, I happen to think Draco Alcaeus Malfoy is a very dignified name.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Theo was silent for a few moments.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you happen to have an extra blank copy of this?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Draco smirked, and reached in his bag again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You had better go through with this. No backing out at the last minute,” Theo warned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I want to do this. Not just because of him. I want to do this for me,” said Draco. “I won’t give up Malfoy, but I am tired of being Draco Lucius.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Theo picked up his quill.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I always thought it would be nice to—my mum would--I know what I want,” he finished in a soft voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Carefully, Theo filled in the empty space. <em>Theodore Aurelius Nott</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s--that’s good, mate.” Draco cleared his throat. “We’ve got until five o’clock if you want to file it today.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> “Let’s just get it done,” Theo replied.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> They walked to Hogsmeade, then Apparated to the Ministry. It took them about half an hour to find the right office, and then half an hour more of queuing. Finally, they approached the Records desk. Draco decided to go first, and handed over the forms.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Reason for application?” droned the Ministry official, not looking up from her papers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Draco raised one eyebrow. “Read the <em>Prophet</em> lately?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The woman looked up, and, recognizing Draco, blinked in surprise. She picked up a quill. “<em>Personal circumstances...</em>”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a test for Polyjuice, a sworn statement, several signatures, and a ten Galleon fee, their applications were stamped and they were sent on their way. On Monday morning, Draco and Theo received owls from the Ministry confirming their new names. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> They had only planned to tell the rest of the Conspiratorial Squad about the changes, but apparently Narcissa’s second cousin’s wife’s best friend had been right behind them in the queue and it didn’t take long for the news to spread. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> Draco filled him in on the fallout when Theo arrived at breakfast the next morning. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I got five Howlers from Lucius, but I didn’t detect any disappointment in Mother’s letter--either vague or explicit--so I think she approves? Also, my aunt Andromeda sent me this fruit basket,” Draco said, waving his hand at the elaborately arranged gift in question. The effect was marred somewhat by the shredded pieces of burnt red paper surrounding it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, it <em>is</em> a nice fruit basket,” Theo said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was halfway through a bowl of cereal when he spotted Daphne and Hermione approaching the table. They both waved hello to him. The girls had been working on a formal request for accommodations for Daphne last night and had plans to finish it this morning. Astoria had told Ginny who had then let it slip to Hermione that Tremlett hardly did anything to include Daphne in Muggle Studies. Theo didn’t understand Granger’s passion for a cause, but he wasn’t going to complain if it would help Daphne. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ve been practising BSL,” Hermione signed, clearly proud of the progress she was making. Theo’s lips quirked approvingly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Across the table, Draco was focused on a piece of parchment. He was scribbling with his quill and then crossing it out, muttering curse words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t say anything,” Daphne signed with a mischievous grin. “I want to see how long it takes for him to notice.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hermione shot her a disapproving look.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please,” the blonde signed. “It’ll be fun…”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hermione threw her hands up in the air, relenting. Theo shook his head but joined the two girls in silent, signed conversation. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few minutes, Draco spoke, his eyes still glued to his work. “The last problem on the Arithmancy homework is driving me mad, Theo; why did I decide to take this bloody NEWT--<em>oh, shit!</em>” he exclaimed after finally looking up, knocking over his water goblet in the process. Daphne giggled. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Draco stared at the two girls, lost for words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hermione tapped Daphne’s shoulder to get her attention, and pointed to a paragraph. Theo watched them pass the parchment back and forth, adding annotations in the margins. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then an owl swooped overhead, dropping a red envelope in front of Draco. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Make that six Howlers,” Draco said dryly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It pays to be friends with the Deaf girl,” Daphne said, before taking off running with the envelope in hand. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lucius is taking it as well as we expected,” Theo remarked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t get it. I told him I want him out of my life on, what, seven separate occasions since the Battle?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Including Parents’ Day?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Eight.” Draco sighed. “I can’t believe he thinks he still has clout. Remember? <em>‘I’m still highly regarded amongst the purebloods who matter.'</em> Fuck off…” he trailed away, remembering Hermione was there, sitting quietly and seeming unsure of what to do.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Scowling, Draco turned his attention to vigorously buttering a piece of toast.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why are you helping Daphne?” Pansy blurted out, an accusing edge to her voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She deserves an equal chance to learn,” Hermione answered coolly. “That’s how it should be for everyone in this school.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A look of annoyance flashed over Pansy’s face, but she didn’t say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, an equal chance to fail Muggle Studies,” said Tracey. “I think this class is pointless and my dad agrees. He says that if they don’t teach about The Beatles, it has to be rubbish.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do bugs have to do with this?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They’re a band, Theo. We’ve been over this.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Seems like a strange name for a band if you ask me,” he stated.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hermione shrugged. “I think my parents liked them,” she said off-handedly, and then immediately looked very upset. She busied herself with refilling her water goblet, and an awkward silence fell over the table.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who’s Margaret Thatcher?” Blaise asked loudly, seemingly unaware of his friends’ discomfort.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Isn’t that the Ravenclaw in our year?” Theo asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, that’s Sophie Roper.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is she in any of our classes?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, she, uh, she didn’t come back this year.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” Theo looked down at his eggs. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Draco swore under his breath, crossing out some calculations once again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Give it here." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Draco looked up. "What?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Give it here," Hermione said, a little impatiently. "I used to help Harry and Ron with their homework all the time." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Draco sneered. "I can do it without your help. I'm hardly a Gryffindor." Hermione pulled her hand back, looking a bit stung.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daphne soon returned, and Hermione seemed relieved to get back to work.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Er, Trace? Do you have a second?” Draco asked, face a bit flushed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You need to use Llull’s Rule,” she said, without even looking at the parchment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t think that’s…Yes. Right.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re welcome,” Tracey said with a smirk.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hermione studied Tracey with keen interest. “You’re the top Arithmancy student in our year, right?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. And?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that what you plan to do, after Hogwarts?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t take it personally,” Theo interjected. “She won’t tell any of us yet.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’d like to keep some things out of the <em>Prophet</em>,” Tracey said.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is it true that you challenged Skeeter to a duel?” Hermione asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. She declined. Pity.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, we should go to class,” Daphne said, a bit too loudly. “We don’t want the Conspiratorial Squad to be known for tardiness,” she continued with mock-seriousness.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goodness, no,” a voice drawled. “We’re model students,” Draco said, maintaining a straight face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Theo and his friends laughed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hermione got up from the table, signing goodbye to Daphne. But Theo could see she was hiding the slightest of smiles as she left. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This painter cut his own ear off,” Blaise told Theo and Pansy in the new inter-house common room for the upper years. “That’s so intense. Suffering for your art. I think I’m..into that.” </p><p>Theo did not want to know that fantasies were going through his friend’s head. </p><p>“Oh, Merlin, don’t remind me about this fucking arts assignment. I got one of the music prompts and now I have to talk about this bloke <em> Chop-pin</em>,” Pansy complained loudly.</p><p>“Do you mean Chopin?” came a voice from across the room.</p><p>The three Slytherins turned their heads to see Justin Finch-Fletchley looking at them with a confused expression.</p><p>“Who the hell is that?” asked Blaise.</p><p>Justin’s mouth hung open for a few moments, and then he suddenly narrowed his eyes. “You’re not having me on, are you? So you can have a long laugh at the Muggle-born once I leave?”</p><p>Blaise held up his hands in surrender. “It’s not a joke. If I knew who these Muggles were I wouldn’t be doomed to fail this project.”</p><p>Justin’s expression softened. “Sorry, I just...I thought classical music was a pureblood <em> thing</em>. Ernie plays the violin, and Hannah used to take flute lessons. So I thought you lot, with your manors and dress robes and--” he broke off.</p><p>“And pureblood supremacy,” Theo said. “Might as well say it out loud.”</p><p>Justin flushed a bit, Pansy stared down at her nails, and Blaise shot him a look that meant ‘you’re supposed to be the reasonable one, Theo.’</p><p>“I’m tired of talking in whispers and euphemisms,” Theo responded. “My father was a Death Eater who fucking tortured me. I’m glad he’s in Azkaban and that Voldemort’s dead, because they were wrong about everything. Alright?” </p><p>Blaise put a hand on his shoulder. “I feel like this is an important step in your personal growth,” he said.</p><p>“What the fuck? Don’t make it weird, mate.”</p><p>“My mum sent me a load of self-help books now that she’s in that Wizards Anonymous thing, and some of them are actually interesting.” Blaise shrugged.</p><p>“On that note,” piped up Pansy, “this is for you.” She thrust an envelope into Justin’s hand. He opened it, cautiously, and Theo craned his neck to see what was inside. But there was no need, as Justin began to read aloud the words written in calligraphy on the lilac-tinted paper.</p><p> </p><p><em> Dear Justin </em> (there was a blank space where Pansy had filled in his name),</p><p>
  <em> I apologise for all the things I said to you before and during the war as well as my general attitude of bitchery. I no longer believe in blood purity and I’m trying to be different.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Best regards, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Pansy Parkinson </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Theo pinched the bridge of his nose. “You made apology cards?”</p><p>“Actually I custom-ordered them, but I did come up with the words myself.”</p><p>“Bitchery isn’t a word, Pans,” said Blaise. </p><p>“Really? Oh well.”</p><p>“Otherwise, I thought it was great.”</p><p>Pansy smiled with pride. </p><p>Then the Slytherins realised that Justin had been staring silently at the card. “Wow,” he finally said.</p><p>Theo’s shoulders slumped.</p><p>“This is fantastic calligraphy!” exclaimed Justin.</p><p>“What?” Theo said.</p><p>“Yeah, I especially love the style of the  ‘B’. Top notch work, Parkinson.”</p><p>“What?” Theo said again.</p><p>“Hand lettering is an art,” Justin sniffed. “Apology accepted. I--er--I’m trying to be different, too,” the Hufflepuff confessed.</p><p>“But you haven’t done anything?” Theo asked. “We’re the school’s problem children, not you.”</p><p>“Everyone in Hufflepuff knows me as this straitlaced chap who has his life sorted, but that’s not really me.” Justin said. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, it’s stupid.”</p><p>“Well, we’re rather fucked up and clearly in no position to judge,” countered Blaise. “Pansy danced on the bar of the Hog’s Head last weekend.”</p><p>“Shut it Blaise, you were dancing right next to me!”</p><p>“Let Finch-Fletchley speak,” said an exasperated Theo.</p><p>“I thought the best way to make friends in my House was to follow Wizarding culture. When in Rome and all that--Muggle expression, never mind. Anyway, there’s loads of things about me that none of my friends know. But...what if that’s not the version of me they want?” </p><p>“Then they should get used to it,” declared Pansy, “and if they don’t, then hex them until they do.”</p><p>Justin gave a little nervous laugh in response.</p><p>“How about you take it...ah, what was it? Oh, one step at a time, yeah!” Blaise said. “Try it out now. Tell us one thing about you that no one at Hogwarts knows.”</p><p>“Hmm...right, so I don’t even like classical music that much. I prefer the guitar gods, you know, Hendrix, Clapton…” </p><p>The Slytherins had only blank stares in response.</p><p>“You’ve never heard...Merlin and Morgana, this is a travesty!” He looked wildly around the room, eyes settling on a dusty gramophone in the corner of the room. “Yes! I’ve got vinyl.” He pulled a box out of his bag, picked a small square out, and reversed the Shrinking Charm on what was now clearly a record. </p><p>“You lot need to prepare yourselves,” he said, fiddling with the old record player. “This one’s called ‘Purple Haze.’”</p><p>There were a few seconds of crackling, and then the first guitar chords kicked in. </p><p>This was unlike anything Theo had ever heard before. He sat there as if in a trance, until the song ended. Blaise and Pansy were similarly transfixed. </p><p>“Play that again,” Theo said slowly. </p><p>A short time later, the door to the common room opened and with a quick spell, the needle of the record player halted and the sound cut off. </p><p>The four students froze in place, mid-strum on their air guitars. Pansy had just jumped off the top of the sofa, while Blaise was lying on the ground in a sort of half-split. Theo and Justin were standing atop the table, school ties around their heads.</p><p>“Dinner has already started; I thought you would want to know,” said Flitwick calmly. </p><p>“Thank you, Professor,” Justin squeaked out.</p><p>By the time they made it to the Great Hall, most of the other students were already eating dessert. Theo had just tucked into his main course when the owls descended. A special edition Daily Prophet landed in front of him.</p><p>“ESCAPE FROM AZKABAN! DOLOHOV AT LARGE!” the headline screamed in bold letters accompanied by the Death Eater’s mugshot, a sadistic smile on the man’s face. </p><p>When Theo looked up from the article, he noticed an empty space where Draco and Astoria had just been sitting. Theo reckoned they were probably off doing Salazar-knows-what in some broom closet, and didn’t pay it any more attention until a shoulder tap interrupted him halfway through a treacle tart.</p><p>“I need you to come with me now. Don’t say anything to anyone. It’s urgent,” Astoria whispered into his ear. </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Astoria,” he whispered back.</p><p>“I promise it’s important; please help me.”</p><p>Theo nodded, got up from the table, and they left the Great Hall as quickly as they could without drawing too much suspicion.</p><p>She started to run once they were out of sight, and he followed her into the crisp autumn air. His confusion turned to shock when he saw Draco and Luna Lovegood outside the castle, looking completely out of sorts.</p><p>Luna was oblivious to their presence and focused on making crowns out of leaves and flowers. Her fingers deftly wound and tied the stems. There was a colorful arrangement atop her own blonde hair and even Draco had a thin garland wound around his arm. </p><p>“Luna?” Astoria asked gently.</p><p>The girl’s gaze shot up.</p><p>“Hello again Astoria.” she greeted. “And you brought Theo.” But her typical lilting voice instead sounded ominously flat. </p><p>“It’s getting cold, Luna. Why don’t you come inside?” Astoria asked.</p><p>“The autumn colours aren’t as bright as I’d hoped,” Luna said, ignoring the question and staring off into the distance.</p><p>Draco was still quiet, taking in quick, panicked breaths and standing protectively over Luna. Theo saw that his eyes were red-rimmed. But he wouldn’t make eye contact with him or Astoria; he wouldn’t even respond when Astoria called his name. </p><p>None of this was a good sign.</p><p>“<em>What the fuck? </em>” Theo mouthed to Astoria. She stepped towards him.</p><p>“I’ll explain later,” Astoria whispered. “But we need to get them inside first.”</p><p>“Hello Luna,” Theo said, realising how he’d never called Lovegood by her actual first name before. “Mind showing me what you’re working on?”</p><p>Luna smiled, but her eyes were dead. She carefully picked up one of her flower creations and held it out. But when Theo reached for it, he was stopped short. There were shields around them; it had to be Draco’s doing. </p><p>“Draco,” Theo said firmly, but without anger. “I need you to drop the shields. You’ve done well protecting Luna, but you’re not alone anymore. Please let me and Astoria help.”</p><p>Grey eyes turned towards him, and Theo got the sense that Draco was Occluding, and Occluding <em> hard. </em></p><p>A moment passed in silence.</p><p>“Take them down, Draco,” Luna said in a detached voice.</p><p>Draco jerked his head, then slowly raised his wand and dismantled the shields at last.</p><p>“Wha's goin' on here?” boomed Hagrid, approaching the teenagers. Theo swore to himself.</p><p>Draco immediately stepped in front of Luna, but she took his right arm and kept him from raising his wand.</p><p>“Lower your voice,” Theo snapped.</p><p>“Don’t ye dare hurt tha' girl!” Hagrid shouted. He raised a hand, and Theo flinched. He swallowed, glaring at the professor. Hagrid lowered his hand hurriedly at Theo’s reaction.</p><p>“I'm only signalin' Fang, I didn' mean ta...” said Hagrid, the compassion in his gaze so obvious that it unsettled the Slytherin.</p><p>The dog in question raced over, running in a circle around Draco and Luna before standing his ground in front of them. Fang raised his head and bared his teeth at Hagrid, refusing to be underestimated in a way that matched petite Astoria, walking up to stand beside the dog with hands on her hips.</p><p>“Never seen him do tha' before,” Hagrid said softly. </p><p>“Everyone. Stay. Calm.” Theo said, letting out a decisive breath. “It’s just a bit of spell shock. Astoria and I can take it from here.”</p><p>Hagrid and Astoria didn’t respond, but instead had their own little staring contest and Theo lost his patience.</p><p>“Astoria, take them to the castle,” he commanded. “Make sure she drinks some water, and convince him to ease up on the Occlumency or he’ll give himself a hell of a headache.”</p><p>Theo turned to Hagrid. “Don’t you have some dodgy creature to tend to? Leave us alone. I hate you, I hated your class, and I will never warm up to those ghastly thestrals no matter what you have to say about it. Been meaning to get that off my chest for a long time, so there we are.” He exhaled sharply. “<em> Astoria, I said to take them and go. </em>”</p><p>Hagrid straightened his imposing frame, but to Theo’s surprise he was also concealing a smile.</p><p>“Ya don’ need ta fall on yer sword like that, Nott. I trust ya. Look after those two.”</p><p>“We will,” Astoria said solemnly.</p><p>Fang happily ran over to Hagrid, who scratched him behind his ears and led him away.</p><p>“Letting your inner Gryffindor show, I see,” Astoria teased.</p><p>“You take that back,” Theo said, appalled.</p><p>Astoria laughed. “I love to see it.” Then she turned her attention back to Draco and Luna, who were still silent and standing side by side almost as if Petrified. </p><p>“So where do we take them? Excluding all the places in this school with existing traumatic memories.”</p><p>Theo sighed. “Well, that rules out the Astronomy Tower and Room of Requirement.”</p><p>Suddenly Luna’s voice piped up. “I have my own room in Ravenclaw Tower. I don’t mind.”</p><p>“Fine with me,” he responded.</p><p>“Draco, we’re going to go up to Ravenclaw Tower; does that sound alright?” Astoria asked gently.</p><p>The blond lowered his gaze, then nodded. His demeanor was making Theo more and more nervous. Astoria took his hand, but he still didn’t look up.</p><p>“We should use Disillusionment Charms,” Theo said, receiving nods of agreement from the others.</p><p>The spell sent a cold trickle down his spine, eliminating any lingering warmth from the Great Hall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter took me a long time to finish, but I'm very excited about it! Hope you liked it x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Ten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really hope y'all like this chapter; I put a lot of angst and love into it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Theo flicked the remains of his cigarette into the evening air and closed the window. Luna’s single in Ravenclaw was all the way at the top of the tower, and felt like its own little world within Hogwarts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luna was sitting cross-legged upon a collection of pillows, piles of books on either side of her. There was a fleece blanket wrapped around her trembling form, but her shivering wasn’t from the cold. Draco sat on the floor with his elbows resting on his knees, positioned so that he could see both the windows and the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria was looking through Luna’s assortment of candles. “Stress relief, focus, relax, energy, revive, restore--fuck it, we need them all,” she said aloud to herself. She carefully arranged the candles on the windowsill, and then lit them all with her wand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, so who’s going to tell me what the hell is going on?” Theo asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin, Theo, don’t interrogate--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Astoria.” Luna’s voice still sounded as detached as it had outside. “One night at Malfoy Manor, Dolohov came down to the basement, dragging Draco with him. Then he Stunned Ollivander...and did things to us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco winced at Luna’s words like he had just been hit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria reached out, but Draco backed away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, love. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Astoria said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco stared straight ahead; Theo could see the walls going up in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask a few questions?” Theo said to Luna. She nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did this happen more than once?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three different nights.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who knows about this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only the people in this room. And Dolohov.” Luna paused. “I thought we would never have to see him again,” she whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo walked over to Luna’s nest of pillows.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I join you...Lady of the Tower?” he said in a gently teasing tone. Theo didn’t know if it would work, but he didn’t want her to think he only saw her as broken, a tragedy to be observed from a distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled faintly. “Permission granted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Luna, I’ve already encountered more sadistic people than I ever wished to, and I know how they get in your head. I need you to know that it was not your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” She pointed to a frayed piece of paper taped to her wardrobe door. It had fold marks, and Theo guessed she’d carried it around with her all summer. It had a quotation written on it: </span>
  <em>
    <span>I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s by a famous Muggle. He had many interesting ideas, like he thought creative expression could help restore people. I hope he’s right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t say I’ve read much of what any Muggles have to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can borrow some of my books, if you like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria’s voice reminded them of more pressing matters. “Draco, please, you’re safe here, I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo and Luna went over to the other side of the room. They sat down on the floor in front of Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to listen to me, mate. You’ve been through hell. It won’t be easy. But you can’t just occlude your way out of this,” Theo said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that!” Draco growled. He folded his arms in on himself. “I tried. But Occlumency only works for memories; you can’t escape what’s happening in the present. Couldn’t even control my own mind...all the sick games...my own house...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria reached for her boyfriend, and this time Draco let her hold him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When it was happening, I used to imagine us at school, if there never had been a war at all,” Luna said in a confessional tone. The Slytherins turned silently to listen. “Wandering through the library stacks looking for interesting books, talking to the owls in the Owlery, working on a Transfiguration project together.” She paused, looking to Draco. She paused. “As a little girl, I always dreamt of having friends at Hogwarts, but at the Manor I realised it would be rather nice to have an older brother.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco looked at her with a quizzical expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luna raised her eyebrows meaningfully, but the message didn’t seem to sink in, so Theo gently elbowed his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco turned his head, but Theo could see that his friend’s eyes had glassed over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then he turned back. “Lulu, come here,” he rasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo looked into Luna’s blue eyes, several shades lighter than his own. “You can let go now,” he told her softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Draco’s arm was around her, she started sobbing. He pulled her closer, hiding behind her blonde hair so Theo couldn’t see his face. That was how he knew Draco had to be crying too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Astoria rested her head on Theo’s shoulder and they waited until Luna quieted and Draco regained his composure. Draco offered the sleeve of his jumper for Luna to wipe her eyes. Theo conjured two glasses and filled them with water, which both teenagers silently accepted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo cleared his throat. “Luna, I have to tell you something--if you’ve got him as a brother, there are six more siblings that come with the agreement. Welcome to the family,” he said in a droll tone. Astoria grinned, and interlaced her fingers with Draco’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luna’s eyes brightened a little. “I think I can live with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo paused in thought for a moment, and then a determined look swept over his sharp features. He called for one of the former Nott house-elves, who was now working at Hogwarts, and the elf quickly returned with a briefcase Theo kept under the two single beds he and Daphne had Transfigured to fit together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s locked under Fidelius,” he explained. “I’m Secret-Keeper, so now you three will be able to open it too.” Theo paused. “I will not be taking any questions about how any of these objects were acquired.” He winked at Astoria, and she smirked in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo continued, “Right, so we’ve got old Nott family wands that haven’t been used in ages so they’ll be hard to trace...now, this is an unsanctioned Portkey to France, so don’t press that button unless you’re ready to go...these are Muggle identification documents, Muggle cash...here’s Polyjuice, Blood-Replenishing, bezoar, it’s all labelled so don’t worry...this thing is called a switchblade, let me demonstrate…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up from his inventory to see three astonished faces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? It’s important to be prepared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did I go to Borgin and Burkes in sixth year when I could have gone to you?” came Draco’s typical drawl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have helped you kill Dumbledore,” Theo said drily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco sulked in response, reminding Theo of a much younger version of him and bringing a half-smile to his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo went over a few more objects, and finally held up a metal box. “Astoria, you’ve seen enough Muggle films, you might be able to guess what’s in here. But none of you are even close to that level yet, and it’s loaded, so for the love of Salazar do not open it,” he warned. Astoria tossed her hair, clearly a bit stroppy. Theo sighed. “I’ll take you out into the forest over break and teach you, so happy early Christmas and shut the fuck up.” Astoria laughed and did a little celebratory cheer. Draco rolled his eyes, but at the same time put his arm around her affectionately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can talk more about security later,” Theo said, closing the briefcase. “But for now this is the best I can do.” He paused. “I should go back to the dungeons before it gets too late. Are you two coming?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Draco could answer, Luna spoke first. “Stay,” she pleaded. “You too, Astoria.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” the two Slytherins said at the same time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remember when Daphne and I had sleepovers with our friends,” Astoria said wistfully. “Feels like a lifetime ago.” Draco kissed the top of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Back when we had parents who could look after us</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Theo thought to himself. It was a distant memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo would never admit it to anyone else, but that night he tucked the three teenagers into Luna’s magically-expanded bed. He still didn’t know either of the girls well enough, but he had spent hours upon hours playing with Draco when they were small. He leaned over and ran his fingers through Draco’s hair a few times, because it was the boy’s favourite source of comfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked back to the dungeons alone, letting his mind take him away whilst he kept up his unaffected appearance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daphne greeted him when he walked into his room, but it didn’t really register with him. He put up a silencing spell, eased his shoes off. But once Theo’s eyes met Daphne’s, he broke down. Daphne didn’t ask any questions, she just caught him in an embrace and held him as he cried, knowing he was internally berating himself for being so weak. She never demanded, never prodded with questions, never tried to manipulate him. Merlin, he loved her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo took a shuddering breath, and then looked into Daphne’s eyes once more. He signed the three words he had been so afraid of for so long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now you’ve got me crying too,” she whispered, with the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kissed him and he finally understood what it meant to come home. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Eleven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Astoria spent the next few days pretending not to fuss over Draco and Luna as the two blondes in turn pretended that nothing was amiss, but in the end it was Theo who caught the inevitable winter chill. The school was the perfect breeding ground for colds as the stress and exhaustion among the students was palpable. (Some students had even started what they called a “support group” in the Divination classroom after hours. It made Theo want to hurl). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He soldiered on through the sniffling and scratchy throat, refusing to admit to anyone that he was under the weather. It was under control, the way Theo liked all things to be. Until he went back to the dorms to retrieve a textbook before lunch and ended up sleeping for twelve hours straight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next time Theo opened his eyes; there was someone standing by the edge of the bed. When he saw the long blonde hair, he had a flash of panic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daphne…no, you can’t be here,” he tried to shout but could only get out a hoarse whisper. “Not safe, it’s not safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leaned down, wiping sweat off his brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo grasped her wrist. “Please, got to go ‘fore he finds you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widened in shock. She threw a silk dressing gown around her, fumbling with the tie. “I’m going to get help,” she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Floo home Daph,” he mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, love, it’s alright,” Daphne said, and left him alone in his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo closed his eyes in relief. The throbbing in his head grew worse, but it didn’t matter. Daphne would be safe. He could take it—would always take it for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shivered as a chill ran through his body and burrowed underneath the sweat-dampened duvet. There was no use trying to hide. Theo heard the door open and ice ran through his veins, but this time he tried to suppress the shudder. He never wanted to show fear in front of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He pressed himself further into the mattress as a dark figure approached. Braced for the hand reaching down to pull him out of bed by his hair. Tried to ignore his aching body. Berated himself for sleeping only in boxers; his father’s study was barely heated on winter nights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But to Theo’s surprise, he felt a hand rest on his forehead for a moment. “Gods, you’re warm. Come on, you knob. Up you get,” came a voice from above. Theo didn’t move, trying to make sense of what was happening. Then the hand moved to his shoulder, and Theo leaned away instinctively. “I’m trying to get you to the hospital wing, you idiot,” the voice complained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo furrowed his brow in confusion. “Wha—where? Please not the study, please…’m sorry…please,” he said, trying to move away from the figure reaching out again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s alright, Teddy,” Blaise said, identity revealed by the childhood nickname. Theo didn’t understand why he was here, but now he clung to his friend’s voice like a lifeline. “I’ve got you,” Blaise whispered. Gentle hands helped him up to a seated position. “I’ve got you, Teddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaise helped him up, but Theo immediately started to sway forward, so he was sat back down to brace his pounding head with his hands. To Theo’s chagrin, the other teenager dressed him in a T-shirt, pair of joggers, and slippers. Blaise made stupid jokes the whole time to try to put Theo at ease, and Daphne came back in the room to get him to his feet once more. They began the long walk to the hospital wing, Daphne’s arm around him for comfort and Blaise’s for stability. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright there?” Blaise asked when Theo had a balance check in the corridor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just want to sleep, Beanie,” Theo mumbled in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can sleep really soon, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo wanted to stop and curl up on the floor right then and there, but he forced himself to keep moving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It reminded him of the time he was six and twisted his ankle down by the stream, and Blaise had to help him back to the house despite his weak protests. He never wanted to go back inside, not even so the elves could fix him up. He remembered the determined look in little Blaise’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo felt himself slipping again into that mental fog, not quite knowing where or </span>
  <em>
    <span>when</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beanie, where’s Cruppy?” he asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, mate, listen…” Blaise coughed. “I’m taking you to him, alright? Don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did he want?” Theo heard Daphne say in a harsh sort of hiss—she still hadn’t quite figured out how to whisper effectively but Theo never had the heart to point it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Later," Blaise mouthed with a desperate hand gesture that wasn't BSL but most definitely meant "shut up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed. "Fine. Later. So hurry up and let's get him looked after."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Theo was deposited onto a bed with starched sheets and the slight smell of bleach surrounding him. He stared up at the ceiling, and took Daphne’s hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaise and Pomfrey had a brief conversation that Theo’s mind didn’t really register. He closed his eyes as the school matron began fussing over him, saying she needed to get his fever down immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All Theo wanted to do was go back to sleep, and he must have said this aloud because Pomfrey told him he had to take the fever-reducing potion before she’d give him a small dose of a sleep aid. He could hear her moving about, gathering supplies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she came back to his bedside, Theo leaned over just enough that he could swallow the first potion, grimacing at the imitation blackcurrant flavour. “Sleep now?” he asked—well, basically demanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes, go on,” Pomfrey responded, pouring a spoonful from a large bottle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo swallowed it, making another face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Night Daph, night Beanie,” he slurred as sleep began to overtake him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was late in the morning when Pomfrey woke Theo up, casting diagnostic spells and shoving potions in his face. He downed them all quickly, making a face of disgust as soon as the matron’s back was turned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think I can’t hear that smoker’s cough, by the way. You really should be taking better care of yourself,” Pomfrey said to him from across the room, clicking her tongue in disapproval. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo saw red. Before his mind even registered what he was doing, he had punched through the window behind him, the sound of shattering glass echoing through the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook out his hand, scattering drops of blood onto the pristine white sheets of the bed at his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You people,” he spat, “let me live with a sadist and known Death Eater, and my </span>
  <em>
    <span>smoking</span>
  </em>
  <span> is your greatest concern? Do you have any idea what that was like for me? DO YOU?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pomfrey had her wand out, but the pity in her eyes let him know she wouldn’t use it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go summon the troops then,” Theo said, waving his bloody hand again. “It’s not like all the sick fucks are gone yet. You know Snape let him drag me home last year—fucking whipped me for back-chatting Amycus. We all know that gets Filch hard; maybe he can have a crack at it? HOW ABOUT THAT?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cracks appeared in the rest of the windows from Theo’s accidental magic, as if an invisible person had stepped on a frosted pond. He closed his eyes and fought to keep them from shattering completely. When he opened them, Pomfrey was gone. The cold wind rushed in from the fractures in the glass. Theo sank to the floor, going somewhere else in his mind.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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